Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I spent the day at home recovering from a nasty bout with a traveling virus. It seems most people that I have encountered recently have had it in some form or another. Regardless of the amount of vitamins C and E I've been taking, it took hold for a couple of unpleasant days. But, all was not lost. No, actually, much was gained.
This little window of downtime gave me an opportunity to just stop and to focus on some of the thoughts that have been vying for my time that I've ignored. It gave me an opportunity to be brutally honest with myself about what I think about a number of things that I have perhaps preferred not to examine too closely. I realized that in many ways I am far more at peace with 'me' than I have ever been, and that I have also - without even being aware of it - released a large quantity of 'things' that I once allowed to take up mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical space unwisely.
I found myself laughing somewhat at the notions I have had, since I was a wee little girl, that surely I am royalty and that some miraculous fate awaits me just around the next corner, most certainly ridden in on or drug in by an enormous white horse. Laughed because as far-fetched as that notion may have been it somehow etched itself on my psyche and has been a part of that subliminal drive that has caused me to throw open door after door after door in search of my yet-to-be-found royal bounty.
The other day I was excitedly telling someone about the history of a beautiful pottery cup that had landed mysteriously in our cupboard. I knew its manufacture, the time frame when it was made, all about its particular trademark on the bottom, and its probable value were it to be offered for sale. The person I was talking to commented with surprise at the breathe of my knowledge on that subject and I immediately responded "oh, pottery and porcelain from that period is a passion of mine". The return comment was "you sure have a lot of passions". Before I knew it my response had leaped from my lips: "I do." I said. "I live every single moment of my life with passion."
So, I guess I will continue to believe, with passion, that I will see a cloud of dust rising on the horizon caused by the determined hoofs of a wonderful white stallion bringing me my long awaited royal treasure chest. I guess I will always believe in fairy tales and happy endings. I guess I will always believe that life is to be lived with every ounce of hope and dream, desire and energy you can muster. I know I will always believe in God's unmerited favor.
I'm glad this nasty little virus stopped me long enough for me to realize how truly blessed I really, really am. Until it did, the rigours of my recent days had begun to cause me to cheat myself of my lust for life. It almost had me thinking my cup was half empty rather than half full.
Posted by Peggy at 11:12 PM